Brooks ([info]brooksmoses) wrote,
@ 2008-02-29 13:56:00
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Current mood: mischievous

A bad pun, which I must share.
I apologize because this is a really bad pun, as well as being a bit dated, but it won't leave my head. So I inflict it on you, my loyal readers.

So, in the beginning, the Lord created the heavens and the Earth, and the plants and the animals. And the Lord said unto the animals, "GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY."

And lo, the animals went forth and multiplied, and there were many Cute Baby Animals.

The Lord looked down on all of this, and saw that it was good.

Well, almost all good. There were only two adders, looking somewhat uncomfortable under His gaze, who were not going forth and reproducing.

And the Lord said unto Samuel L. Jackson, "GO DOWN THERE AND SOLVE THAT PROBLEM."

So Samuel went down to the adders, and they said, "Well, it's muddy down here, and lumpy, and uncomfortable, and we're kind of picky about bedding...."

And Samuel looked up at the Lord, and the Lord looked down and said to him, "NO, YOU DON'T GET TO SMITE THEM. THAT'S MY JOB"

So, he took his mighty hand and felled some trees, and built from their trunks a large smooth platform above the ground, on which the adders might be comfortable. And the adders saw it, and it was Good, and once nobody was looking, they were well on their way to producing cute baby adders.

...

Now, the moral of the story is, There are SNAKES ON A PLANE!

(What? You were expecting something about adders being able to multiply with log tables?)



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Oh gods.
[info]suzimoses
2008-02-29 10:19 pm UTC (link)
Just wait. When I get home, you're getting thwacked gently on the top of the head.

Edited at 2008-02-29 10:20 pm UTC

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Re: Oh gods.
[info]kalmn
2008-02-29 10:30 pm UTC (link)
gently?

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Re: Oh gods.
[info]kightp
2008-02-29 10:31 pm UTC (link)
[info]kalmn stole the words outa my mouth.

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Re: Oh gods.
[info]suzimoses
2008-02-29 10:46 pm UTC (link)
*grins*

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Re: Oh gods.
[info]kightp
2008-02-29 11:03 pm UTC (link)
You hold him down and we'll pummel him?

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Re: Oh gods.
[info]tiger_spot
2008-03-01 01:09 am UTC (link)
Well, I'm for it on grounds that it'd mean you were visiting.

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Re: Oh gods.
[info]suzimoses
2008-02-29 10:45 pm UTC (link)
Well, I /do/ love him. And it isn't like I haven't had time to build up tolerance.

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Re: Oh gods.
[info]kalmn
2008-03-01 04:11 am UTC (link)
yes, but you have to stand in for those of us who aren't in arms reach!

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Re: Oh gods.
[info]pleonastic
2008-02-29 11:32 pm UTC (link)
hell, no. i think SMITING is called for!

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Re: Oh gods.
[info]micheinnz
2008-03-01 06:54 am UTC (link)
Tickling.

Tickling is called for.

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[info]wcg
2008-02-29 10:25 pm UTC (link)
Yes, I was.

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[info]brooksmoses
2008-03-01 02:07 am UTC (link)
Oh, good. I was hoping it was familiar enough that people would be expecting that ending. :)

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[info]wcg
2008-03-01 02:37 am UTC (link)
So, have you seen this?

It's the "in 30 seconds, with bunnies" version.

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[info]andres_s_p_b
2008-03-01 07:39 am UTC (link)
That's a badly filmed version of it being shown on a screen. The original animation is here, along with dozens of other movies done by bunnies.

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[info]sciamanna
2008-03-01 08:01 am UTC (link)
Actually, I was expecting another word before "snakes". Starts with F :-)

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[info]tiger_spot
2008-03-01 05:55 pm UTC (link)
Not M?

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[info]andres_s_p_b
2008-03-02 06:47 am UTC (link)
I guess it depends on how one treats compound words and whether or not a hyphen was used.

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[info]sciamanna
2008-03-02 11:14 am UTC (link)
There's no indication in the story that the female snake is the male snake's mother...

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[info]tiger_spot
2008-03-02 05:15 pm UTC (link)
But the purpose of the act is to make the female snake a mother. Does that not count? (I am admittedly pretty fuzzy on the ostensible denotations of most curse words. Connotation I have a grasp of [though a flimsy grasp, with much confusion over regional differences, esp. US/UK]; denotation not so much.)

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[info]julesjones
2008-03-01 11:45 am UTC (link)
You are a very, very bad man.

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